Tag Archives: sleep

[100 Things] Snoring

30 Apr

You want to know one of the great things about being single?

Snoring.

Yup, I said great. And I meant great. Let’s view it as a sort of married-people’s waterboarding. A form of torture we single people aren’t forced to endure.

I come from a venerable line of snorers myself. My mom’s family spent years trying to convince Grandma that she snored. They even tried to tape record her. As a kid, I was always on Grandma’s side. After all, I never heard her snoring! (I always conveniently ignored the fact that I was such a restless sleeper that I probably kept Grandma awake whenever I spent the night.) My mom doesn’t snore much, unless she’s got a cold.

On dad’s side of the family, the snoring is even more amazing. Grandpa used to fall asleep in the recliner whenever we visited (this is a trait of the males in that family; I’m sure it has nothing to do with my scintillating conversation and wit as a visitor). The deeper his sleep got, the louder his snores got. And the more amusing. We used to sit in the living room giggling while one leg twitched in time with the snores.

But barring family vacations and boring living room visitors, we single people don’t have to deal with the day-to-day (or night-to-night) reality of sharing the bed with a snoring partner.

And thank God we don’t. Because if my husband snored the way my dad does, I’d be a widow at a really young age.

 

This is part of my [100 Things About Being Single] series.

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