I Could Get a Spouse…If I Wanted To

18 Oct

Yeah, I know how egotistical that sounds, on the face of it. But I was talking to one of my rad Christian girl friends the other night, and I want to share a story she told.

She was thinking about stereotypical couples–you know, the tall, skinny guy and his cuddly-sized wife. The sloppy girl and her neatfreak partner. The domineering wife and her hen-pecked husband. And she jokingly thought to herself, “I could get a spouse if I wanted to. Just go out and find me a tall, skinny guy with a big nose.”

It was a humorous thought, but it brought her to a bigger realization. Yes, she could get a spouse if she wanted. She is capable of getting out there, signing up for online dating websites or joining meetup groups, going to the usual places where you meet a spouse. She’s perfectly capable of introducing herself to someone, flirting, pursuing a deeper connection. She could.

If she wanted to. Which she doesn’t.

She related the story to me, and I laughed, but I wasn’t laughing at her. I was laughing because I’ve had that moment too.

It’s that moment when you realize, not for the first time, but in a new way, that you like being single. You aren’t in search of a life-partner to share your bed. You are content with your life the way it is, and you have no desire to change that.

Fellow singles, have you had that moment? I want to hear about it!

4 Responses to “I Could Get a Spouse…If I Wanted To”

  1. Jeida K. Storey October 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    I have this moment every time an unimpressive guy approaches me… I realize more and more that at any given time I could give in to my boredom and date/court any of the random guys who are conveniently placed into my life. But, then, what would be the reason for my purposeful singleness? No, I’m winning.

    • SWC October 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

      Great point! Realizing this helps you feel free to embrace purposeful singleness. 🙂

  2. justinmcampbell October 18, 2012 at 5:47 pm #

    I agree for sure. It’s an important realization whether you feel called to singleness or marriage. Because it kills the idol.

    • SWC October 18, 2012 at 10:17 pm #

      You’re right, Justin! It’s so easy for marriage to become something we singles long for more than we long for intimacy with God. (Not that marriage is alone in that–for me, focusing on my novel or on my job to the exclusion of God can be just as much of an idol.) And of course it isn’t always wrong to long for marriage. We just have to remember what’s truly the most important thing in life. 🙂

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