Ask Me

13 Aug

I don’t know where the breakdown falls in who’s reading this blog, but I seem to have a decent mix of married people and single people. I came up blank when trying to think of a post tonight, so I decided maybe you guys could help me out.

Are there things you want to ask me but haven’t? Whether you’re married or single at 25, are there things you wonder about being single at age 35?

I have things I wonder about married people, after all.

question marksI wonder about the primary reason for getting married–which I know is highly personal, but is it because you were tired of being lonely? because you wanted kids? because you wanted to take a lifelong journey with this particular partner?

I wonder how married people do their finances–do you have his, hers, and ours? Do you keep all your finances together in one set of accounts and one budget? How do you keep track of all the little places money trickles out? (I have enough trouble keeping track of one person’s expenses!)

I wonder if married people secretly feel sorry for me, or secretly feel superior to me…or secretly feel jealous of me.

So maybe there are things you wonder about me. If so, here’s the place to ask! I’ll try to answer any questions as openly as possible.

5 Responses to “Ask Me”

  1. edarnut August 14, 2012 at 1:17 am #

    Oh, where to start? I got married mainly for companionship. I would have been an idiot not to marry him; we just work.

    Our finances are basically: He earns it, I spend it. We make the budget together but I handle the bill paying and the stuff getting. All our accounts are joint access, and we use a shared checkbook app. Sometimes I go kid clothing crazy, sometimes he goes wood crazy, but having no secrets helps with accountability.

    • edarnut August 14, 2012 at 1:37 am #

      I love my life immensely, but there are days when I’m just tired of giving. I wonder what I’d be doing if I was single and had a career. When you check in at a state park or a trail, I seriously envy hiking alone without slings and strollers and sippy cups, and checking the time to her back in time to make dinner.

      There seem to be 3 kinds of Christian singles: Single and looking for a spouse, single and dating but not really spouse hunting, and single and not dating. Which are you? And how is the “singles ministry” dynamic between the 3 types?

      Also, completely shallow, but how do you find motivation to stay fit?

  2. Jennifer Decker August 19, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

    I don’t remember thinking about why I was getting married when I did. We love each other and it seemed like the thing we should do next. I guess in our case, it boils down to companionship. We don’t need to be with each other all the time, but when I know he’s not coming home (like when he visits his sis in Texas each summer), I get lonelier than it seems logical to be. Then again, I have NEVER lived alone; I went from parents, to roommates, to the hubby. Lol

    What’s interesting was that I was talking with a co-worker the other day about the way marriage has changed. We were going out to a club, me, him (a divorcee with 2 teenage daughters), his brother in law, and a teenage girl. Odd group, I know. Lol Anyway, he was comparing the older generation (of which he’s on the cusp) with younger married couples. I was going out that night with them without Trav, and his younger brother-in-law was going without his wife. He was talking about how older married couples just seemed to do everything together (like he wanted with his wife), where as younger couples like me and his bro-in-law did things apart more often/easily. He said it made him think that maybe that was the reason many younger couples stayed together longer now. I thought it was really interesting, and maybe true. I adore my husband, but I would tear my hair out if I was expected to be at his side all the freakin’ time!

    I’m rambling. Lol! I think my point there was that my initial reaction to your question about married people being jealous of the single was “hell yes!” But upon thinking deeper, I think the “hell yes” reaction is in response to a glamorized ideal of singleness, maybe even one that we learn now from our tv/movies/comedy. Yeah, it sounds great in a fictional sense to say, “I could do whatever I wanted without having to get permission from someone else if I was single! Oh, the life!”, but the truth is that even if I could go do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, there isn’t much I would be doing differently. And when I want to do something, I dont have to “get permission” or stay home if he doesn’t want to go, you know?

    I know I picked one thing out of your post and rambled about it, but I’ve been thinking about it because of that conversation I had last weekend. It really got me thInking!

  3. Gina September 22, 2014 at 8:46 pm #

    Why haven’t you blogged in a while?


  1. Single-and-Not-Dating…With Caveats (Part 1) « singlewhitechristian - September 17, 2012

    […] while back…uh, okay, a long time ago now…I invited questions from people here. Then I neglected to answer those questions, and it’s too bad, because there […]

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