Getting Back on the Horse After You Fall Off…

20 Jul

*dusts off blog* Wow. Long time no blog, guys. I’m sorry I’ve been silent lately. Some of my silence has been due to starting a new part-time job (praise God!) and some of it has been because of my focus on another writing project.

But another reason for my silence is cowardice.

Yeah, you read that right. I’ve been guilty of letting fear stop me from expressing myself.

Shortly after my last post here, I engaged in a conversation at a different forum. Something I said, or the way I said it, bothered someone, and she or he chose to track down several aspects of my online identity. Then s/he made fun of not only this blog but also my personal and writing blogs and my Twitter account.

I confess, I felt pretty angry. I felt hurt. In fact, it bothered me all that day.

I tried hard to pray for the person I felt was persecuting me. I tried to love that person, imagining that life must have been much harder than my own. But to be honest, I still felt pretty annoyed, since that person had willfully misunderstood several things I had said. I felt wronged.

And I felt discouraged. I’m one of the good guys, I thought. I’m the sort of Christian who tries to acknowledge my own privilege and encourage the church to open its eyes to that. I’m the sort of Christian who loves gay people without judging them according to my own values. I’m the sort of Christian who wants the church to stop hurting people, in ways both intentional and inadvertent. I’m one of the good guys.

Then I thought about how Jesus acted when he was faced with people who called him names, mocked him, and hated him. Needless to say, I got over myself pretty quick.

But the end result was that I got discouraged for a while. I wanted my blog to be accessible to people of all races, religions, and creeds. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’m writing to a small niche of fellow Christians.

And you know what? I’m okay with that, because my fellow Christians are a pretty awesome group of people. We make mistakes, we hurt people, we say stupid things, but the best part is, we’re all under the same grace. We can only try to do better.

So from here on out, everyone is welcome to read my blog. I hope people of all different races, religions, and creeds do read my blog. I hope they comment here to help me understand where they are coming from. But I’m going to write for the people I expect to read this blog.

And that’s you guys.

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2 Responses to “Getting Back on the Horse After You Fall Off…”

  1. meerkats009 July 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

    I’m so glad to see that you’re still posting!!

    letting fear stop me from expressing myself. –It’s so disheartening when you come across someone who chooses personal (dare-we-say cowardly) attacks rather than a constructive discussion. Grr.

    Congrats on the new job!

    • SWC July 22, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

      Thanks! 🙂 Yes, that’s exactly it–personal attacks are in no way constructive, and I was trying to have an honest conversation that could edify everyone. Oh well, it’s water under the bridge, right? 🙂

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