I’m an expert at being single. But if you want a little proof, here’s a quick rundown of my CV of singleness.
- Only child – 1976 to present
- First kiss – 1997 (21 years old)
- First boyfriend – 2000 (3 month relationship)
- Second boyfriend – 2003 (6 month relationship with a 3-week break)
- Third boyfriend – TBA
Sure, I’ve gone on plenty of dates both before and after those two shining examples of relationships. And they were both good relationships, don’t get me wrong. Two lovely men, both of whom are now married to other people, both of whom I’m friends with on Facebook.
The first kiss guy doesn’t count as a boyfriend, since we only went on about three dates, and a few months after he quit calling, he started dating a friend of mine. And we won’t talk about how two of my biggest high school crushes (and one prom date) turned out to be gay.
Just last year I had the opportunity to explore a more-than-friends relationship with a Godly man I admire. We turned out to have incompatible expectations of what that more-than-friends relationship would entail. We’re still friends, but that’s it.
I think it was that last opportunity that made me take a long look at my life and decide that I’m happy being single. I’m also blessed with a family where singleness isn’t seen as a curse. I have two unmarried aunts and an uncle who married after 40. I had several great-uncles who never married. I’ve been vocal since childhood about not wanting children, and thank God, my mother believes me, even if most people tell me I’ll change my mind when I meet the right guy.
What it boils down to, though, is that I have plenty of authority with which to speak about being single. I can only tell you about my experiences of life as a single Christian. But I’m interested in hearing about other people’s experiences of life as a single Christian too.
It’s time for an open, honest dialogue to take place between church leaders and single people. And this is where I want it to start.